There Are Plenty of 'Fisch' In The Sea

I had something very different planned for today’s post but then Gregory Fisch’s jasgeid caught my attention. There’s one thing you can’t blame on government.

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When the school started two weeks ago - while children all over the country still haven’t been placed - I was just grateful that now I didn’t have to worry about my daughter playing outside in the road because she was safe at school, right?

Er.

Now I won’t spew insults at the man - ek is n beskaafde mens.  But my blood boils when kak like this happens. As if not being able to wash properly isn’t enough, here is another thing to keep my insomniac ass up even later at night.

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Last year 7 teachers in Kwazulu-Natal were accused of raping learners.  In a separate incident at another school 87 kids were sexually abused by a patroller.

After doing some more digging, I found at least 3 separate incidents in 2016 where teachers have been accused of sexually assaulting learners.

Wat de fok gan hie aan?

Now your laaitie is possibly not safe inside your house because they might get hit in the head by a stray bullet; they aren't safe outside because they could go missing and turn up dead or not at all; and now they also aren't safe at school either.

And people ask me why after almost ten years I haven’t had a ‘another one’

Because my paranoia and dread act as contraceptives.

I have only have questions regarding Mr. Fisch en die vingers-in gang;

How long has this been going on? Some reports claim that Fisch had resigned back in October and has already worked out his notice period by the time that the ‘scandal’ was revealed. Hy het gewiet die bom gan bars. But how could you not when you’ve been taking pictures and recording videos of your sex-capades with minors? According to the latest reports, the learner in one of the videos has left the school about three years ago...

Why is it only coming out now? I mean, people talk and rumours spread. You tell your bra that the paalie is a pervert and by tomorrow this time the whole school is whispering. This has been happening since before October. How does fuckery – excuse the pun – on such a large scale go unnoticed and unannounced? Was the whispering not loud enough? There is definitely something Fischy going on here.

What about the learners? Has no-one come forward because they were threatened, forced or coerced?  These pictures circulating social media bear no sense of innocence – but you need to stop sending that kak around, julle gan saam mung.

 Consensual or not, there is no justification or excuse for this mans behaviour. But we clearly need to look at a much bigger picture where our school-going children – and not only our daughters – are concerned. If they aren’t engaging in sexual activities with one another at school, they are being sexually assaulted by teachers, patrollers and principals.

Let us not be bystanders in society. Let us not endorse that fucked up sense of loyalty where you can’t or won’t tell your brother he is in the wrong.  

MAAK OEP JOU BEK

Tip off the police anonymously of iets. They are in any case lamming and vrieting KFC in the van whole day. Give them something to do other than raiding the merchant for Dagga they gonna smoke out later.

You may find my last question a bit irrelevant but did this man use a condom? STD’s are real – you can get Chlamydia just by sharing a freaking towel and show NO symptoms. This situation obviously carries more implications than just a ‘cock up’ by a school principal.

How many learners have kneeled in front of the paalie on a daily basis? Being called to the office for “sex education”?! How many of these sexual encounters with his staff members and learners included a rubber?

‘Is the door locked?’ one reportedly asked

‘It’s duster two of us,’ said Greg

In my opinion, Reiger Park should be shut the fuck down. The learners should be tested; Teachers involved should be fired; Gregory Fisch should’ve been locked up by now and parents need to take action against the school.  

And where are Julias and his comrades? Why aren’t they protesting over this kak?

Countdown to (Day) Zero

And as the water runs over my face and into my mouth, I realise that one day this will be coming from a desalination plant. Extracted from the ocean with a possible dose of residual kak. 

You’d be surprised at the speed of thought during a 90-minute shower.

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Day Zero looms over Cape Town like a nuclear strike threat from North Korea.  And just like Kim Jung-un, Provincial Government warn that it’s imminent.

Water is becoming a scarce commodity. With only 50 litres of water per person a day, you’re left with a choice between hydration and hygiene, or drinking your bath water. A bottle of sparkling Valpre is the new bubbly. If you smaak a cider, the lemon flavoured Aquelle is lekker.

We are now down to two one-and-a-half -minute showers and the rest of the week you may take a ‘cowboy splush’ - you know; tits, pits and naughty bits. Household fights are now about who gets to kak first, laaste man trek die chain. Everyone’s bowel movements are now in sync, and hopefully not in sink.

So why has National Government done fokkol to assist the situation in Cape Town? The David Icke in me says that it’s because the DA is in charge.  And for a long time Zuma has been trying to get those sticky fingers on the Western Cape, hinting at witch craft and ghosts voting for the DA.

And trouble is brewing in the party. The alliances aren’t democratic behind the scenes ne. Airing their dirty laundry in the midst of a ‘disaster’ - as Helen is now so quick to call it. The same Helen Zille whose home allegedly exceeded the daily consumption limit by over 200 litres per person not too long ago and then claimed she has a natural spring running under her house.  Er.

What I can’t wrap my unwashed head around is the lack of urgency.  We have been receiving drought threats since 2016 – there was more than enough time to put contingency plans in place or execute the plans they supposedly had in place.

Ma nee, hulle vriet mos die land se geld op. Cape Town is in a critical but stable condition. And now we are just stably fucked.

But it’s too late to blame government. Too late to blame grown people in Parkwood for filling plastic pools for the whole Blackbird Avenue to come splash in. Too late to blame parents in Bonteheuwel for allowing their kids to still play with water guns and water balloons. Or the aunty around the corner who still uses her hose pipe.

The world might be set to end in June, but Armageddon comes for the Western Cape on April 12th.

And with people like the EFF around, we are definitely in for anarchy and chaos. This time they will be throwing shit around because you can’t flush it.

photo: EWN

Somewhere on the Cape Flats a taanie shouts to her teenage son:

“Hou op kak sing en maak kla, da isi water ini land nie,”

Oh, but there is. The rest of the country is flooded with thunder storms and heavy rain – because the ANC is in power.  And you didn’t even need to pay me R500 000 to tell you that.

On a serious note, we should be saving water regardless of a drought or an empty dam or government’s negligence.  There are plenty of tips around for you.  Helen Moffet has been saving, collecting, compiling so that we don’t have to:  1001 Water tips

About Last Year

It’s 2018!

And yes, I am a bit slow on the uptake but I wasn’t exactly feeling very festive or celebratory. Searching the internet for morbid kak isn’t exactly one’s idea of spreading cheer.

But it is that time of the year where we no longer have to dish out ‘compliments of the season’ greetings with a dash of air kiss because you know -  dai wyn bek breeds koorsblare and then contempt.  The silly season is over and it is winter in our wallets. Except for government workers because finally it’s pay day – and no, I don’t mean SASSA. New Year’s resolutions are out the door and the only thing different is that there is no change – not even enough for a paar losse entjies. 

The world of politics definitely embraced change before the New Year even began. The ANC welcomed a new leader – I mean, everyone deserves the chance to be in charge of corruption.  Zuma must have been pissed at the announcement because now he can’t keep his hand in the cookie jar since Dlamini isn’t it. Sy bek is uit.

So he declares Free Education for all poor people – which are most of us – and leaves even more kak for Cyril to deal with out of spite.  Because Cyril is that guy – he raised the rand – and now he wants to take your land.

It’s like the man couldn’t wait to be the leader of the ANC so he can further plummet our country into darkness.  Our natural disasters come in forms of corruption – it’s a natural trait of the people appointed in leading roles.  I mean there will always be corruption, but can you please be a little subtle about it?

Anyway, what boggles me about this “land expropriation without compensation” crap is WHOSE land you gonna take, Cyril? Can we start with Nkandla?

Talking about turning SA into a ‘Garden of Eden’… and we all know what happened there.  Shit clearly didn’t end well because now we are wearing clothes and it’s kak expensive. And fig leaves make you itch.

But it’s is exactly this act that makes me think the farm murders are linked to the leading party.  And I don’t want to be a conspiracy theorist but my trust issues don’t give a benefit of a doubt when it comes to government.  The fight between farmers and government isn’t a new one. While the state owns over 4000 farms already, they want to get their green greedy fingers on even more. 

And what happens then? Rising food prices because we know how uitgevriet they are. R30 mince isn’t even enough to feed four people anymore. At R80/kg plus the risk of listeria is die lewe regtag duur.

What is free education really worth then if you can’t even afford to put food on the table? With the unemployment as rife as it is, people with degrees are already struggling to find work.  So the 4 to 6 years of free studying you are willing to get caught in a stampede for, might get you R5000 a month while a job requirement is having your own car.

It’s already sounding more like a Garden of Zim if you ask me. And I can’t imagine bread costing a few thousand. I love bread but Blue Ribbon isn’t that kwaai.  Which reminds me, I’m going to have a peanut butter sandwich while looking for a job on Gumtree – just joking man, peanut butter is too expensive.