Taxi.Duh.Me

eHowzit

People in Cape Town all drive the same: KAK 

The traffic department should consider incorporating cell phones into the license test. Nowadays people drive clutch in, foot on the petrol and eyes on the screen. Los die Candy Crush en die Whatsapp status tot by die huis. You’re supposed to stop when the mannetjie is green – and for that, you need to look up. I've almost been knocked over thrice in the past two months. Ry lekker man.

Cape Town is the most congested city in the country – you can’t afford to drive kak – and this is only aggravated each time drones of mense flood to take a taxi because the trains are disrupted. (which is every other day.)You leave two hours before your call center shift in an attempt to avoid traffic only to add to it.


What do you get when you cross an outdated train with cable theft?

“The 16:45 train from Cape Town to Fish Hoek has been cancelled.” And a happy tikkop.


And that’s how I stopped using Metrofail in 2016. But that’s also when the kak started:
Because now I was stuck with ‘Driver of the Year’ en sy gaatjie. The ‘Liffmans’ of the public transport system; exploiting your desperation to get to work. 

The only form of pubic transport we have left since trains are becoming a rarity and the bus strike continues. You see all the loyal bus riders waiting for taxis each morning, dikbek, cause you know you and this twenty other people standing here are all going to sit in the same van.

Today your clip card gets you a seat on the back of an old chair or a piece of chip board covered in cloth – or

“… staan gou net hie, dai ma klim hie voor uit”


The epitome of uitgevriet. 

I don’t know what makes me more naar about taking a taxi; the amalgamation of feet, sweat and mosag, the yaart music or the fact that I won’t get anywhere in a timely fashion. Because more often than not, they make you late; Drive 2 meters, reverse 3 meters and stop for five minutes. Repeat.

Scott Hanselman

Now, I've had my fair share of rolling gaatjies and drivers alike. We've had disagreements about fares, I have tossed out a few kussies myself and we have argued about why my daughter has to sit on my lap AND pay because the traffic cop is behind us.


Recently,I started to indulge in the Golden Arrow experience. With no unnecessary stopping, reversing, laptops and sometimes air conditioning, the bus for us has become my preferred mode of transport from Wynberg to Cape Town.

F.Y.I - For those who don’t know: It’s a BUS, not Century City’s food court. Vat jou piesang skille en jou hoenne biene saam jou, Kanallah.

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The word Taxidermy is derived from the Greek words 'Taxis' and 'derma'

Taxis mean ‘to move’, and derma means ‘skin’

And taxi gaartjies have a way of getting under my skin, by not moving. Especially when I am mounted on a laptop, looking life like but dead inside. Thinking, 'I knew I shouldn't have taken this taxi. Duh, me.'