ZEXIT - The Falling of a Nation?

Die hele land is in sy moer. Sorry dat ek nou soe meti deur bydi huis in val but if you haven’t noticed, South Africa is in more disarray than Bafana facing the World Cup champions. Everyone’s running around like headless chickens, trying to cover up their corruption, of iets, in some way. 

While Zuma is still making headlines - because he won’t leave-, Eskom is as always, looking for money; the ding with Mark Lifman is rukking (out of proportion), and Metrorail wasn’t going to get you to  Cape Town on time so the SONA was canceled.

 We are all anxiously anticipating the announcement that President Jacob Zuma is no longer…well, president. Even the rand grew stronger at the mention of Zuma stepping down– so even the currency wants him to resign.

But hy is kak taai and possibly kak bang.  Cause now there’s a better chance of him going to prison than Cape Town seeing real rain (the weekend doesn’t count). So in order to avoid this, like that tikkop laaitie who just turned 40 and still lives with his mother, SIT HY VAS! Making demands and asking for immunity from prosecution, lol. It’s mos not stealing if the whole country knows about it.

Meanwhile…

 ANC and SACP members are lamming outside the Union buildings, protesting until he leaves office. And as usual, feeling entitled and telling us not to go to work as if anyone can afford it. It’s just a matter of time before they start burning busses and looting stores.

“Do not go to work tomorrow … Whether you are a police [officer]‚ whether you are a nurse‚ whether you are a doctor‚ whether you are a security guard‚ whether you are a garden boy‚ whether you work at a border gate‚ do not go to work” – Hangwi Maumela

You and I both know you won’t get paid but will probably get a warning for staying out of work over kak. Gat wek toe. Half of us are unemployed already; don’t risk your job because you are in support of Zuma losing his.  

And don’t be so quick to wish the man away. Even though the respirator his presidency is hooked up to will soon be unplugged, I am sure he will get paid enough to afford another remote-controlled chicken coop. Here, you are lucky if you get to claim your UIF or get a tax return but this bra is due for a moerse package, off which he can live comfortably in prison.

Here’s a list of benefits Zuma is entitled to at the end of his reign.  (Extracted from Business Tech)

• Personal security for himself, wife and his immediate family. This will include physical security such as bodyguards as well as a motorcade based on an assessment of his security requirements. However the security details will be notably smaller than what he is currently afforded. 

• A home which the State contributes to fully or partially – based on Zuma’s security requirements. 

• Health insurance, including treatment at military hospitals, as well as the care and respect one would typically give to a former head of state. 

• A mandated salary (approved at R2.87 million in 2016) with any increases as stipulated in government gazettes. 

• An indirect line to government if the state decides to utilise his services for diplomatic functions such as peace, ceremonies, or as a representative of the state. The extent of these additional roles will be at the discretion of the incumbent president.

Have you wondered what’s going to happen once Zuma steps down or -more possibly- forcibly removed? Things were clearly going wrong since Mbeki’s days. That guy was the ‘George Bush’ of South Africa. Will the next head of state do better? Is this where the reign of corruption ends?

Cyril will possibly take over, but is he only wiping the sperm of South Africa’s legs so he can rape her next?